Forgetfulness: The Opposite of Thanksgiving
“This is the worst day ever!” my five-year-old daughter screamed while large, hot tears fell onto her pink dinner plate. I sighed and looked over at my husband, who shook his head in exasperation.
“What about going to the splash pad with your friends?” I asked her. “Wasn’t that fun?”
She sniffled and gave a slight grunt in agreement.
“And we watched a movie and had popcorn after rest time. Did you enjoy that?”
She nodded her head reluctantly.
“We even had macaroni and cheese for dinner, your favorite.” I reminded her. “You’ve had a wonderful day!”
“But I wanted ice cream for dessert!” she whined again, and I had to bite my tongue to not respond to her ungratefulness with harsh words. In her childish short-sightedness, she could not remember the joys of her day because of one small disappointment.
While I was frustrated with her ingratitude, I understood it. I see it in my own life, time and again. So often, the wonderful blessings God has provided in my life are overshadowed by the one thing he seems to have left unanswered.
I forget all the opportunities he’s given me in my writing career because of one door left closed.
For weeks I neglect to thank him for my family’s health, but groan when a sick child derails my day. I take for granted the Holy Spirit guiding me day after day yet grow impatient when I must wait on his guidance on a question.
I’m learning that the opposite of thankfulness is often forgetfulness. My daughter and I both tend towards ungratefulness when we don’t remember the good things that we have been given. I constantly need to be reminded of God’s faithfulness so that I can praise him through whatever circumstances I am facing today.
Many of the psalmists’ calls to thankfulness begin with an invitation to remember and not to forget. The psalms are filled with records of God’s faithfulness in the past, so that the people would recall and be thankful for God’s goodness in their lives.
In Psalm 106, the psalmist invites the people to give thanks to God for his goodness, “Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his faithful love endures forever” (Psalm 106:1). He then goes on for more than forty verses to recount God’s faithful love to a forgetful Israel. Why would the psalmist follow his call to praise with a history lesson? Because he knew that Israel’s lack of praise stemmed from their forgetfulness.
After God miraculously led them out of Egypt, Israel did not “remember [his] many acts of faithful love; instead, they rebelled by the sea” (Psalm 106:7). After God parted the Red Sea, Israel “soon forgot his works and would not wait for his counsel” (Psalm 106:13). After God provided food from heaven and water from a rock, Israel worshipped a golden calf because “they forgot God their Savior, who did great things in Egypt” (Psalm 106:21).
Time and again, God would bless the Israelites, they would praise them, then they would forget. Their forgetfulness led to ingratitude, which led them to not trust and obey God.
God commands us to thank him not because he’s an egomaniac who needs our praise. No, he commands us to thank him because he knows our lack of thanksgiving will lead to a lack of faithfulness. When we remember and thank God for his past goodness, we will trust his goodness for the future.
Israel disobeyed because they neither remembered God nor thanked him. When we intentionally thank God for what he has done, we prepare our hearts to trust him no matter what we may face. When we remember his good work in our lives in the past, we will continue to obey him in the future.
“Give thanks in everything; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). God’s will for our lives is to thank him in all circumstances, and to do that, we must intentionally remember his goodness and faithfulness in our lives.
All it took for my daughter’s attitude to turn around was to remember the good parts about her day—splashing in the water, cuddling on the couch for a movie, and enjoying her favorite food. While her desire for ice cream was still unmet, she could still be thankful for our fun family day.
In the same way, my attitude of discontentment can be turned around by simply remembering what God has done.
I can look at creation and remember how he has formed every blade of grass and set every star in the sky. I can look at my life and remember how he has provided for our every need—and even some of our wants. And I can even look at my daughter and remember how he is working in the life of my children.
However, it’s not always easy to remember and give thanks. In the past for me, the joy of Thanksgiving Day was overshadowed by medical diagnoses, a delayed adoption process, and unknown futures. It’s sometimes been a day we’ve spent grieving more than celebrating.
Yet no matter where we are in the story God is writing for us, we can intentionally choose to remember the past, to give thanks in the present, and to hope in the future.
We can bring him our unmet desires and praise him through them. We can trust that he will save us and provide for us so that we can once again give thanks to his holy name (Psalm 106: 47).