The Measure of Our Days
3 Truths When We Feel Like We’re Not Enough
Three women encircle my fifteen-month-old daughter in her nursery. She sits in the middle of them—babbling and grinning at the undivided attention. One woman hands her a block, waiting for her to successfully stack it atop another. When my daughter stands to her feet, a second woman makes a quick succession of check marks on her notepad. A third woman places a farm puzzle before her, pointing to each piece and entreating my daughter to repeat animal noises. I sit behind her, answering their incessant queries and straining my neck to glimpse the scribbles on their clipboards.
Even though this is my daughter’s therapy evaluation, I feel like they are evaluating me. Have I done enough for her in the past year? Advocated for the right medical specialists? Taken her to enough therapy appointments? Given her more of my (already divided) attention?
The evaluation ends, and the three women spend the final few minutes counting checks, tapping numbers into their calculators, and circling outcomes. I continue to roll a ball with my daughter, glancing up to gauge the reaction of the women.
Finally, they announce the results: “Overall, she doesn’t qualify for more therapy,” the first woman announces with a wide grin. “She’s caught up to where she should be!”
The second woman offers me the final report. “She did a great job today.”
“You’ve done a great job, mom,” the third one adds.
Tears blur my vision as I look at the booklet in my hand. Neat rows of check marks provide the measure of my daughter’s performance. A circled number indicates her progress in each of the several categories. While I know I’m looking at her development, I can also see my own efforts from the past year reflected in each shaded box.
I can never fully describe how grateful I am for the therapists and specialists who have helped our daughter overcome so many obstacles in her first year of life. Even so, I rejoice that she currently doesn’t need additional therapies. But as I watched the therapists observe, question, and assess my daughter’s development, I realized I often try to check off boxes to measure my day—and my worth.
I try to excel in each area of life. Making homemade dinners my family loves and making progress on my creative dreams. Investing time in caring for my body and investing in younger women at my church. Staying on top of the endless loads of laundry and staying present with my children. I want to do it all.
Yet at the end of the day, when my head hits the pillow, I pull out my own mental evaluation sheet and start checking off my successes and (many) failures. More often than not, I feel like I’m not enough. I hear the accusations from Satan, the world, and my own inner critic.
Yet I’m learning not to believe these lies—not to believe I’m measured by how I perform each day. Instead, I can fight them with the truth of who God is, who I am, and what he is doing in me.
When I don’t feel like I’m enough, rather than commit to doing better tomorrow or giving up all together, I can meditate on these three truths.
1. God loves me unconditionally.
“There’s nothing you could do to make me love you any more or any less,” I tell my children every night as I tuck them into bed. “I love you, no matter what.” Yet I often don’t view my Heavenly Father’s love the same way. At the end of some days, I feel like I’m handing over a report card to a demanding father, waiting to see if what I’ve done is enough to earn his affection.
Yet that’s not how the Lord reveals himself to us in Scripture. He is a “God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love” (Exodus 34:6). He isn’t disappointed in us when we fall short; neither is he more pleased with us after an accomplishment. His love is not based on our own imperfect merit but on his perfect love.
When the intrusive thoughts remind me of all the ways I have let God down that day, I can lay my failures at the foot of the cross. I remind myself that God proved his love for me by sending his Son to die for me, even when I was his enemy. Because of Christ, there’s nothing I can do to make him love me any more or any less.
Even when I fail, I am enough because God loves me.
2. God created me with limits.
We often view any limitation to our days as a bad thing. We want to fight against interruptions, fatigue, and the clock to do more—to be more. When we reach the end of the day, and the emails are left unsent, the laundry unfolded, and the project incomplete, we chastise ourselves for our limits. Yet that’s not how God views us.
God "shows compassion on his children," because “he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:13-14). He made mankind from the dust of the earth. He created us with limits on our body, mind, and spirit so that we would depend on him. Rather than be disappointed with our weaknesses, he invites us to more fully rely on his strength.
I cannot do it all because God didn't design me to do it all. Kelly M. Kapic writes in You're Only Human, “We need to stop asking for God’s forgiveness when we can’t do everything, and we need to ask forgiveness for ever imagining we could!” God knows our lives are fleeting and faint, yet his love is from everlasting to everlasting (Psalm 103:17). He delights when we hit our creaturely limits because they draw us back to our limitless Creator. We can release the burdensome, unrealistic expectations God never intended for us to carry.
Even in my weaknesses, I am enough, because God created me.
3. God is working in you.
I often resist the first two truths because I believe they might lead me towards laziness or apathy. Rather, I’ve discovered that when I trust God loves me and God created me, I am empowered to do the work he has set before me. After Paul praises the glorious work of Christ on our behalf, he instructs the Philippian church to “work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12).
We can create systems to keep up with household chores. We can work diligently on professional projects. We can set aside our phone to have intentional time with our children. We can move and nourish our bodies. Yet we do it all, not to prove ourselves for God’s love but as proof of God’s love. As believers, we have a holy longing to grow and improve because “it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure” (Philippians 2:13).
No matter what we do or who we become, we are always just as assured of our Father’s love and purpose for us. The burden of our perfection is not on our shoulders. It was accomplished for us on the cross and will be fully applied to us when we see Jesus face-to-face.
In the work God has given me, I am enough, because God is working in me.
When you fall into bed tonight and close your eyes, your mind may begin to measure your day, to measure your worth. If you begin to feel the lie that you are not enough, I pray you can use these truths to take “every thought captive to obey Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).
God loves you. He created you. He is working in you. That is enough.
This post is part of a blog hop with Exhale—an online community of women pursuing creativity alongside motherhood, led by the writing team behind Coffee + Crumbs. Click here to view the next post in the series "Enough".
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